How we woo the hearts of those we love
by R. Douglass Mahaffey
When we step outside ourselves and take a good look inside our hearts, we can get a great idea of how others perceive our outward expressions toward them. God gave us each little buttons in our senses, that when pushed, others are either let in if they like what they have received from someone, or they can block a person out if what they have received is not pleasant or welcomed. We do a lot of things for one another for show, but when we really break through the emotional inhibitions, we achieve success is reciprocating our true loving feelings for someone.
I am in a McDonald's restaurant right now while I am typing this. I witnessed a man walk up to the counter and absolutely berate a young lady because she wasn't sure what he was ordering. most of the food at McDonald's is specifically made at McDonald's standard procedure, unlike Burger King, who makes their food specifically as the customer orders it. McDonald's is beginning to make variations to their menu selections, but those orders are very few and far between. Everyone who has been to McDonald's knows this.
The man that was ordering spoke very harshly to the young lady behind the counter, as though she were beneath him and ignorant. The very next gentleman who was behind the harsh man in line, told the young lady, "Don't worry ma'am, I will make mine simple and very pleasant for you." As he made his order, the lady smiled and thanked him, instead of cowering away and hoping like crazy she didn't get it wrong.
The two languages demonstrated here of delivery in food orders show the vast difference between selfish, demanding, condescending signs of expectations, and humble, understanding, compassionate display of spiritual understanding. Neither gentlemen even noticed that someone in the background was paying attention. They both did what came natural when met with their fellow man. One was most likely a businessman who has several subordinates under him and is used to exerting his authority with a "yes sir" response. The other simply humbled himself and went out of his way to make the order simple for the young lady.
1 Samuel 2:3
3"Do not keep talking so proudly or let your mouth speak such arrogance, for the LORD is a God who knows, and by him deeds are weighed.
Proverbs 8:13
13To fear the LORD is to hate evil; I hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech.
Proverbs 11:2
2When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.
Proverbs 13:10
10Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice.
Proverbs 16:18
18Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.
Proverbs 29:23
23 A man's pride brings him low, but a man of lowly spirit gains honor.
Ecclesiastes 7:8
8The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride.
Isaiah 2:11
11The eyes of the arrogant man will be humbled and the pride of men brought low; the LORD alone will be exalted in that day.
Obadiah 1:3
3The pride of your heart has deceived you, you who live in the clefts of the rocks and make your home on the heights, you who say to yourself, 'Who can bring me down to the ground?'
2 Corinthians 12:20
20For I am afraid that when I come I may not find you as I want you to be, and you may not find me as you want me to be. I fear that there may be quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, factions, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder.
We should remember that when we exalt ourselves and puff ourselves up to the level of God, we bring ourselves down, because only God is perfect. When we exert our high and mighty position on others because of their shortcomings, we are forgetting that we too are imperfect and make mistakes that could make things not-so-pleasant for others. When we humble ourselves and exalt God in our speech and the way we treat others, we are showing a love language that is approved by God.
When we expect perfection from our spouses and children, despite the fact that we ourselves are imperfect, we lessen the chances to grow in love and understanding with our loved-ones and with God. When we seek the desires of those we love in how we react with them and impact their lives, we have it revealed to us what also woos our heart when we are in need of a special word of affirmation, a touch of gentleness and an embrace of tenderheartedness. That sink full of dishes that are washed after dinner so that the wife doesn't have to, tells her, "Thank you for such a wonderful dinner, relax, I can manage the dishes while you take a hot, relaxing bath.
Giving your husband time out to go fishing or hunting or doing something he enjoys is like telling him, "Go have fun with the guys, I can handle the kids for the after noon, and I trust you.
It's things like this that show love and appreciation that you vowed to one another that goes much farther than expecting more than we give. God hears that language as well and sends blessings that bring out the desire to continue to grow as a steward with the spouse and children that He entrusted us with in the first place.
R. Douglass Mahaffey - Founder and Publisher of The Wise Conservative
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