Adolescent fits

When teens resort to toddler like tantrums

by R. Douglass Mahaffey

Teenagers are often looked at as young adults who are going through their awkward stage just before maturity sets in. It’s as though they are taking their last ditch effort to keep from becoming their parents, before they realize they are circling the inevitable.

God instructs parents in His Word to hold firm on the teachings that we instill in our children and when they grow up, those teachings will remain apart of who they are. The Bible also instructs parents to be slow to anger and quick to listen. But how do we listen when our children shut us out and ignore us?

Their body language says a lot about the problems they have a hard time voicing. It’s a hard task to accomplish, but it is very important not to lose one’s cool when dealing with a child of teenager. They lose hope very easily when it comes to who they can trust with their hearts at that age. 

When disciplining your teen whenever they childishly act out and seek the wrong kind of attention, be firm and be consistent. Don’t give flimsy, empty threats just to gain their temporary obedience. That will only dig their hills in deeper. If it requires relinquishing them of things  like an iPad, Nook, or cell phone, so be it, but stick to your guns until their behavior improves. 

However, if disciplining them requires a spanking, this article would suggest not threatening a spanking, or warn them of a spanking. To show that you mean business, giving them an unexpected warning swat is acceptable if you want to get their attention and still give them the opportunity to choose to straighten up on their own. 

Now if the situation requires a full on spanking, as is prescribed in Proverbs 22:15 (which changed my life for the better as a child...unbeknownst to me), then separate yourself from the child before the spanking, calm down, approach the child and calmly explain to them why they are being spanked and do so in a non-angry fashion. Leave the child alone to recover and then come back and mend the bridge. 

Make sure that they know the same choice to straighten up will be given in the future when they act up, if the situation ever gets to the point that a spanking is contemplated. Make sure they know you love them. 

You have a choice to make in regards to obedience here too. You could choose to lose your cool and spank out of anger; which is never the right choice to make, or you can administer the spanking with diligence and out of the love and admonition of the Lord as He does when he chastises us. Either way, do it out of love and with the desire to see your child succeed in making the correct, obedient choice in the future. 

Obedience is a learned and taught trait for one to have. It is not a natural tendency that we are born with. Obedience takes conditioning through time to master.

R. Douglass Mahaffey - Founder and Publisher of The Wise Conservative.